I'm BACKKK

Wow. Its been a while.

So why am I back? Because changes are a happening in these here parts. These past 2 weeks have been epic.

1. I got into nursing school! So I am moving. My feelings? positive and negative. I don't want to leave my friends... but I am super stoked to start over fresh in a new state. But I will be bummed to miss the Broncos first season with...

2. PEYTON MANNING! I have been a true believer since the Colts released him. I wanted him to come to Denver so badly. and now, here he is. I couldn't be happier.

More soon... I really want to get back into this blogging business.

Things to do...

1. Keep my room clean for more than a week
2. Stand on top of the Eiffel Tower
3. Learn how to wear heels
4. Hike to and swim in an alpine lake
5. Hang out at the res
6. Own my own puppy
7. Graduate college
8. Get into grad school
9. Find someone to fall in love with
10. Swim again
11. Make a cookbook as I find recipes
12. Go to more concerts
13. Live near a lake
14. Be more confident

Justice.

A few things have happened this week that have shown me that I really want to live differently. I go to a school in a very Liberal town, where everyone is all about recycling and Tom's shoes. This however does not mean that the students are liberal. I would actually dare to say that about 60% are very very conservative. This 60% holds me...

I have come to realize through my time at school how conservative I really am. I originally thought I was a democrat. When I registered to vote, I was sure I was going to be all about Obama. Then, I started reading things about economic policies on both sides, about health care on both sides, and about other things. Slowly, I started realizing that although socially I tend to be more liberal, my future really counted on conservative ideals. So with that, I developed a love for John McCain and Mitt Romney and wanted nothing more than for them to lead the country. 

Fast forward to college, where I have become more and more conservative. I am proud of our troops, proud of the war we are fighting, highly against healthcare reform, and believe that everyone should have to work for their money, not be given it. 

I think that my obsession with the Royal Wedding and weddings in general also come back to my conservative views. I love the thought of being a wife and taking care of my husband. I want nothing more than to marry a southern gentleman who loves his family and wants me to stay at home and keep house. 

So, last night, when Osama bin Laden was killed, I was elated. So proud of us as a country. I truly felt that it was a joint effort of many people that helped this come to fruition. I felt proud to be an American, proud of those who serve, proud of the president who started the war, and proud of the president who was able to kill the man who killed so many. 

But then, something happened. I have a friend who is abroad. We tend to not share political views at all. She, in general, hates America, hates what we stand for, hates what we have become. She loves that Obama is president, wants healthcare reform, loves unions, and many other things. And she basically called me stupid for being proud of the United States. 

So I just wanted to put out my feelings that are longer than a twitter post or a facebook status:

I am so happy that men and women from many countries have come together to help fight terrorist groups. Everyone has worked so hard, and although many have died, many continue to fight (including my cousins! so proud!!!). I am proud that we can come together as more than a nation. Yes, I did make a facebook book post about America! Winning! but that is becuase it was the UNITED STATES that killed the worst man in the world, and it is the UNITED STATES that can call it a win. So while I did not acknowledge that other people were involved, they have been from the beginning. However, I think that it is so warranted to be proud. As a country, we have been able to come together, because whether you are conservative or liberal, the World Trade Center attacks somehow affected you. You may not personally know someone who died, but the country is small, and there are people everywhere that were affected. Your neighbors, your classmates, everyone. So yes, I am proud of America. I am not embarrassed by the excessive celebration because we deserve it. And yes, I am saying we. Our soldiers and our president are nothing short of a picture of us and what we are in this country. 

I will stand tall and remain proud, not matter what others say. When there is someone who is questioning why, I will tell them why. Because I am simply proud :)

A Catch Up

So it has been awhile... Life just kinda got in the way. I have been keeping up on my diet and on my workouts, even though sometimes I get a little sidetracked. But overall it has been going well.

However, it has been quite a dramatic couple of weeks. It is stuff that actually effects me, my position in my house, and my future there next year, so it has been hard. It has been difficult because people who don't know what is actually going on are making up stories and causing drama that is unnecessary.

I would like to think that my life is kind of a cosmic joke. Like God is looking down at me and saying "what other curve balls can I give her?" Because a lot of stuff has happened that really does not make me happy, and would, in reality, cause a lot of other people to break. However, I keep trucking. I just need something really great to happen soon. Granted, things are not all bad! I have awesome friends and family, I am excited for my future, I have a job (even though it doesn't pay much) and I have many opportunities ahead of me. Its just that a lot of stuff is just kind of messed up. I have gone through personal tragedy, I have gone through school problems, I have suffered depression. And then I sit here and think, when are the things I want to happen going to? When am I going to be able to obtain my goals? Am I ever going to meet a guy that I want to be with?

As it looks now, some things are grim. I don't know that I will get into nursing school. I may have to go get my masters somewhere. It could be YEARS AND YEARS before I go to medical school. So, with that, I really just have to think that God is humoring me. He is sitting up there having a blast watching me suffer a little bit, make a fool of myself on a regular basis, and simply just live. I am sure I am pretty amusing to watch. This has been a great comedy show, but now its time to RomCom a little. Maybe along the lines of Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants? Where they all fall in love and find men and go to awesome colleges? That would be nice.

Yippeeee

Today was a big day.

1. I had a test that I ROCKED. thank goodness. I love a morale boost

2. I got scores back from a test I thought I failed and I didn't! In fact I did wayyyy better than I expected.

3. I got my dream volunteer position. I get to volunteer at The Children's Hospital where I someday want to make my mark as a medical professional.

What a day. I can't wait for 75 degree weather tomorrow!

Ohh I love chrysanthemums

Success!

So, this last week I lost 4 pounds :)

I am so happy that I have something to show for the work I have been doing. 

It is off to a great start! 

Can't wait to be a skinny mini.

A little Slip Up...

So yesterday was not a good day on the diet front. It wasn't terrible, but I chose to go out and 16 weight watchers points later, here I am. I also made the mistake of getting a bad meal at Panera. I fixed it today by staying low on my points, but I didn't work out today. Oh well. You live, you learn. 

I guess the only thing I can say is that I really still need to watch what my priorities are. Is it necessary to drink? No. Did I need the tomato soup at Panera? No. I should have made better decisions.

Tomorrow is my first official weigh in. I can only hope that some weight is gone!!!

So Today...

I figure I should probably give some background on myself

• I am a 21 year old 
• I am studying Integrative Physiology in Boulder
• I want to be in the medical field. To be exact, I really want to be a doctor, but I am going to have to take a roundabout way to get there.
• I love the sunshine and warmth
• I love to drive my car
• I lifeguard to make some extra cash 
• I love water 
• I went from a 9 practice a week swimmer to doing absolutely nothing when I got to college
• I love nail polish
• and weddings
• and magazines
• and blogs
• and photography
• I watch Jersey Shore religiously. and Top Chef.
• In my fake life I would like to work at Starbucks and live in a cute little apartment somewhere near the water, but thats not really very conducive to the luxurious lifestyle I also hope to lead someday.
• I enjoy going out but....
• I also enjoy staying in.
• I am a morning person.
• I love my sisters!

Photos

So I am in the market for a new digital camera. I would really like a dslr, however I AM in college and need something a little more practical.

Any suggestions for something not too expensive and little would be welcome :)

Friday!

So Fridays are my favorite days. I love that I have class late and that when I leave, the sun is always shining. The shopping trip and stop at Starbucks made it even better. 

My obsession is actually a goal. I REALLY want to be a Starbucks gold card member. I have been trying my hardest, getting coffee everytime there is money on my registered card. Want to know what you get when you are a Starbucks gold card member? A gold card. With your NAME ON IT. I would be so honored. So, thats the goal. It should be pretty easy to accomplish. 

I didn't work out today... I was so sore from my hike yesterday. Wow wow wow. I am out of shape. But that will surely change! 

How could you not want one of these?

Hiking

So today I went hiking. I'm not usually a hiker. I don't really like getting dirty. But it was balmy 65 today and it sounded amazing to go hike the flatirons. The picture above was the view from there. I really like being active. I just have trouble getting myself up and going. I also had my first eating out on this diet experience. We went to qdoba. My meal was 3 Weight Watchers points! It was great. I can't wait to keep being active and getting in shape. It is finally my time. I need to make myself have the life I want and part of that life is being fit.

This morning...

This Thursday morning feels so refreshing!

It is a sunny day in Boulder already, leading me to believe it will be a day to sit out and get a tan.

I am also looking forward to my workout. It may only be day 4, but I already feel like this time is different than the last.

Some things I am looking forward to today:
Only having one class
Swimming for exercise
Basking in the warmth of the sun
Walking to starbucks for homework time

Have you seen Starbucks new cups? I love them. Very modern.

Swimmer Boys and Food Network

Day 3 of workout mania was a success. I feel as though I like it... I just need to keep telling myself to eat only good things. I was watching Food Network today during the workout and had to change the channel cause all I could think about was burgers. Which is bad #1 because it is not healthy and #2 because I gave up meat for lent. So instead, I watched the swimmers swim in the pool.

Now interesting fact, I used to swim. Also, I coach swimming. So, I watch all of these kids swim and I pick out the ones that were in fact on swim team, and then check out their bodies, and then begin a little crush. Well, the trouble lies in the fact that I know all of the people that are any good at swimming here at CU. Boo. How am I going to meet my future swimmer husband if there are none here? I guess I will have to go to an away game.

Happy Wednesday night!

This explains everything I'm trying these days...

“the best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. no apologies or excuses. no one to lean on, rely on, or blame. the gift is yours – it is an amazing journey – and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. this is the day your life really begins.”

bob moawad

Day 2

Oh the temptation.

My house is always cooking something fatty. I actually have to tell myself no. Last night was puppy chow night. My favorite. I fought the urge so badly and proudly, did NOT give in! 

So proud of myself. I know its only been two days but I feel renewed already.

Some inspiration:

The definition of me...

I believe

• In driving with the windows down
• In appreciating the little things, like open windows
• In painting your nails all sorts of colors
• That baking can cure a bad day
• That nothing beats the smell and sound of Starbucks
• That you have to have the cold days to appreciate the warm ones
• That everyone looks better with a tan
• In having a favorite pair of shoes and wearing them. Everyday. (My are my rainbows. How could I resist the way the fit my feet?)
• That getting stuff accomplished in the day deserves a reward
• In having nights where you hang out with your friends and don't do anything fantastic.
• That being busy is so much better than being bored
• That blondes really DO have more fun (I have proof of this too. I am much more fun as a blonde than as a brunette)
• In walking my puppy and teaching him to love the watet
• That swimming is the only workout where I can take time to only think about what I am doing right then and there
• That the human body is AMAZING. (Don't believe me? Take a course in immunology. It is not a coincidence that we are made the way we are)
• That a photograph can speak volumes, especially film photography

 

I love Jose Villa so much.

And with that, I leave you.

Some of the favorites...

 Photo by Elliott Erwitt. It is one of my favorites. How dreamy this couple's love is

I love listening to music. There is something so peaceful about being in a world with just the noise of music in it. I love to put on music in the morning while I clean and put on my makeup. I love to listen to music while doing homework. I love listening to music to energize me to go out. But my all time favorite time to listen to music is in my clean car, with all of the windows down and the sun shining, giving me a nice tan. I love it when I am not wearing any makeup, but a tank top and nike shorts and rainbow flip flops and my favorite aviators. I love the view driving down Quincy, where you can see Red Rocks and the Mountains. I like that sometimes the musical mood is some indie rap and other time it is something more downtempo.

But through all of these things, one constant is the music. Even as I sit here, writing this blog, I am listening to music. Those who don't know the words, or who don't take the time to listen to the words, are truly missing out. Even in the poppiest and most benign of songs, there are some awesome lyrics to listen to.

These are a few of my favorites:

• Well, that's where I belong and you belong with me
  -Swallowed in the Sea by Coldplay
  I just imagine someone saying this to me someday... or me saying this to someone.
  
• But it was not your fault but mine
  And it was your heart on the line
  I really fucked it up this time
  Didn't I, my dear?
  -Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons
  Oh the truth in this one. You have to appreciate honesty like this.
  
• Happiness hit her like a train on a track
  -Dog Days Are Over by Florence + the Machine
  I imagine that someday I will just be so happy that it will hit me like a train.
  
• And it's easy for me
  And it's better for the soul
  And it's better for you
  And it's better for all
  -Pull My Heart Away by Jack Penate
  Making the decision to leave is hard, but ultimately its so much better for everyone.
  
• Celebrate we will, for life is short but sweet for certain
  -Two Step by Dave Matthews Band
  Goodness, how could you NOT like this line? How amazing is it to think how incredible this life is? Why would you not want to celebrate being alive?
  
•  Love's just a waste of our energy
  And this life's just a waste of our time
  -Wasting Time by Jack Johnson
  I love a little sarcasm in my mix.

And with that, I shall move on. In the end, music is what you make it, I think. And in this moment, I have chosen it to mean something to me. I feel moved, touched, understood when I hear certain songs.

And so it begins...

Today began my descent into workout town and eating better. It is convenient that lent is right around the corner, since giving up meat causes me to be more conscience of what I am eating. I love the feeling of my body after I work out. Its great. I have made the reasonable goal of losing 25 pounds before June 4. That is less than 2 pounds a week. Also, I have decided that I am going to work out 5 days a week as well. I don't want to drink often anymore. I want to detox and become a generally happier me. Wish me luck!

My Dream Room

Next year I am moving into a house where I can paint my room. AND I have to buy furniture. So I have been perusing to try to find a room that I may want to have and I found this.

 I love the colors. I mean... its a nursery. But could be translated into a room for me. I am so down :)

Now to just find the perfect accessories...

Today is a new day...

Today is the day that I embrace my life and all of the things that it can offer. I have always been the person who sits back and just waits to see where life can take me. It is time that I attack it all head on. 

Things I want to accomplish before June:

1. Lose 30 pounds

2. Swim more (I used to do it so much. What a great escape)

3. Make time for hiking and outdoors

4. Learn yoga

5. Learn how to love running

6. Find some awesome recipes

7. Try new food

8. Find my style and get clothes that match that

9. Learn to budget

10. Pay back my dad while making enough money for a computer but also saving to pay off my loan

11. Get a KILLER tan

12. Become friends with some new people

13. Work on not procrastinating

14. Plan some incredible events for my house

I am sure that there is so much more that I should accomplish, but I feel like these are what I really want to focus on. I want to blog about how I am losing weight, how it is going, and keeping myself accountable for what my body is doing.

All of my friends assure me that losing weight is unnecessary, however between getting my gall bladder removed and having a doctor tell me that my BMI is too high, I finally need to get it in gear. Going from being a competitive athlete to completely sedentary ruined me. Granted, I have never been teeny, but I was toned and not flabby. But going to college changed all of that. 

I have begun weight watchers and am looking to learn to eat better and to shift my priorities.

Here they are:

TIME FOR ME (Not resting time but time to better myself. Taking time to wash my face before bed, do my hair, do my laundry, go to the gym, go for a run)

SCHOOL (I mean they are kind of tied for first...)

WORK

SORORITY

FAMILY

FRIENDS

GOING OUT

Right now my priorities are a little vague, but they definitely aren't that way. School is always around but never really a priority. Work is low on my list. My sorority is what I spend the most time doing, but I really just never make time to better myself. I take time to watch tv and lie down and do nothing, but I really need to take time to go to the gym and go running and do things that will make me better.

I heard a guest speaker recently that said that we, as a society, HAVE, DO, BE. We have to have the things we want before we can do the things we want to do so we can be the things we want to be. However, I want to learn to BE, DO, HAVE. I want to be skinnier, more confident, happier so then I can do the things I want and have all of the happiness in the world. 

So this is where I am starting. Wish me luck :)